Friday 19 October 2012

Nick Griffin to be fired into space

Britain is teaming up with various interplanetary agencies in a bid to finally eradicate bollock-faced cretin Nick Griffin.

An emergency conference was held last night between Cambridgeshire police, NASA and the Justice League Satellite after Mr Griffin took to twitter to confirm that the shit coming out of his mouth is now beginning to effect Earth’s atmosphere.

The first tweet read ‘Proud 2 say toxic bacteria from my very soul is finally combining with Co2 to make new type of smog...say yes to years of h8 crime!’

He appeared unsettled by the backlash from virtually everybody, later adding ‘what do u mean blacks n gays r ppl too? #confused’

Austrian mentalist Felix Baumgartner has agreed to work closely with those involved to stage a recreation of last sunday’s space jump - in which he broke the world record for shitting oneself without exhaling - to see off Griffin for good. A spokesman explained:

We’ve told Nick he could set a new record as the most racist wanker to fall from space, and naturally he’s well up for it. It’ll be just like last week except when he enters freefall Superman will fling him directly into orbit, and, all being well, the Sun.

The capsule will then be safely piloted back to the landing area by Samuel L. Jackson, who will accompany Mr Griffin on his journey carrying a baseball bat and encouraging polite conversation.